Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
