Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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