Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
