I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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