Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
