can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
