I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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