One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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