hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
