If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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