happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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