So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
