I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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