Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize