these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
