I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize