Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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