Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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