I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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