The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
