Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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