K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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