Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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