it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
