i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize