yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
