No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize