i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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