just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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