Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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