I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
