Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
