you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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