How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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