Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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