And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
