I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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