I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
