It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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