This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Say something about gay babies.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
