mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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