Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
