"it" just moved
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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