Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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