Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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