my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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