That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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