Your mouth is God's brothel.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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