the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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