honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize