Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
