genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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