So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
