I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
