I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
