I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
