My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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