I don't think brook has ever known best
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
