Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
