What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
