We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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