Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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